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Wednesday, March 9, 2011

"Try-Athletes": Gargoyle Girls

We are the Bags of Fatnesses.

We have been trying to get it straightened away. We missed a week due to illness, and then another few days for convention, so this week is brutal so far. Getting back into the Swim of things is just as tough as getting back into the Spin of things.

Jenny decided to live at work all evening so she barely got home in time to change. I picked her up a little bit late so we got to the pool just a tad late.

I bought some kind of health food energy bar business that you are supposed to eat before you work out, as it is supposed to help your muscles. We busted those out to see how they would go.

There was an older dude in the special lane but we hopped in anyway. Unfortunately for us, the special lane is kind of a free-for-all kind of lane lately. But we said 'Whatever' and hopped in anyway. It's a bit frightful to jump in intially because it is like Arctic Frost in that pool. But I hopped in and Jenny hopped in and away we went swimming. Jenny told me to swim slowly so hopefully, the dude would get sick of us and hopefully leave the lane.

He didn't.

We hung out with the older swimmer dude for awhile. It was fun... not, really. He lapped us a couple of times and it was getting a bit dangerous in there. Too many bodies in too small a place when one swimmer is Speedy Gonzales. We are like Moderate to Medium Gonzales'es... but, we used to be Slow Gonzales'es.

Tonight, we decided that because we were late, we had to go flat-out for awhile. At around 8pm, I figured I was forgetting to get my head out of the water in time to breathe so it was time to slack-off for awhile. That's alright... as Jenny and I said while we were taking a breather, we are proud of ourselves for just being there. We work hard when we can, and we give 100% on everything - whether that be pedaling or swimming or laughing or drowning... we do it all.

So when it gets difficult, we list off all the positive things that we do every day for our health and well-being. And we are not disheartened... quite the opposite - we are very happy about the whole thing. We have a lot of positive things going for us.

There are things we cannot do (yet) and things we cannot do well (yet) but we are working on all of it. We will get there.

So in the pool tonite, we worked with the Freedomboards and the fins and the leg floaty things. I scratched the skin off Jenny with the fins because I can't control my legs when I have the fins on. It's like having rudders on your legs when you wear them. They really do help with strengthening your legs. It's funny how quickly you get used to equipment and what to expect from it.

In the pool tonite, we got into a laughing fit that just would not end. At one point, I was telling Jenny about how much stuff was floating around in the pool and how much stuff was on the pool bottom. She said she doesn't see anything when she is swimming. I told her that all she needed to do is open her eyes and look around but she said she is too busy concentrating on her technique. I told her I concentrate, too, but I have a certain head movement to do in order to get all my air out, and that gives me enough time to have a gander at the bottom of the pool.

While I was telling her this, I was acting it out, and shoving my head underwater at the appropriate moments to show her what I was doing while swimming. And of course, all she could do was laugh because she said I reminded her of Harley when I was looking around underwater. And after the giggling started, there was no way to stop.

And for some reason, we have turned into old women since we started this Try-Club business.

Have you ever laughed so hard that you have almost peed in your pants? Or worse / better yet, you have peed in your pants from laughing? Well, if so, then you know that has been good times. Peeing in your pants from laughing has to be the best reason there ever could be for peeing in your pants, right? Hold onto the friends who make you do this because someone who makes you laugh that hard is someone you might need some day when sh!t gets tough, like when you go on some sort of trip mentally from the physical labour your body is putting itself through.

Back to the pool...

If you pee in your pants, really, then you better hope you are wearing pants that you can hide that in until you get home to shower and change. But you can't hide that in a pool of water. So here we were... hanging off the side of the pool, trying to look underwater at various objects, and trying desperately not to pee because we were laughing so hard.

Because you can't hide anything in the pool.


If you pee, someone is gonna see it.

And the thing is, we weren't really laughing at anything I can explain here is any real vivid detail, with any clarity. Seriously - we were looking at the bottom of the pool because I said I could see objects, and Jenny said she thought I was bionic eyes or something, then I asked her how long she kept her head in the water before she came up for air, and she showed me but she told me she would hum while she was down there BUT she stuck her head in the water while she did it so of course I couldn't get any timing, so I stuck my head in the water and stared her in the face while she hummed but of course she didn't see me because she doesn't open her eyeballs underwater.

I open my eyes and take in all the sights down there. I check out everything. I can tell you exactly what is on the floor, which tiles don't look so great anymore, where the bobby pins and other random paraphernalia are, if anyone is down there hanging out and visiting, and exactly where I am in the pool just by looking at the bottom. The only thing I have not been able to do well is stop in time not to fly into Jenny or Lisa when they are at the side of the pool and I am swimming into the wall.

So anyway, here we are, hanging off the side of the pool, physically unable to even tread water at this point because we are laughing so hard. We are scrunched up in gargoyle poses on the side of the pool, with grimace faces and all, seeing as grimaces and smiles are really not that much different.

Eventually, Jenny says her back is hurting from laughing and I have to turn away from her and tell her to 'shush, shush, shush' because I really am afraid that I am going to pee right there in the pool. I actually kick my legs around, shrieking just a little bit, and Jenny is doing the same.

When we finally settle down, we decide to do just a few more laps and then call it a night.

We did alright.

We're not too shabby at all. Soon we will be the Bags of Fitnesses.

We're getting lots of compliments and lots of encouragement and lots of love. xoxo

The pool will forever remind me of gargoyles now. MacGargoyle.

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