PD: aSS Chapter 6: "A Man's Work”
* So, funny (as in 'haha') story...
They tell me at work that I am not aggressive enough.
Go ahead, shake your head, rub your eyes... read again...
They tell me at work that I am not aggressive enough.
Yeah, you read it right the first time.
Never, in my life, have I ever been told this. Ever. If anything, it was just the opposite: "Terri, you are too passionate!" / "Terri, slow down!" / "Terri, you are too aggressive!"
Never: "Terri, you have to be more aggressive."
I thought it was a joke. It wasn't. See, when I finish something, I lay down the tool like my normal self and go about my business. When I use a machine, I am still tentative as it is new. So while I feel like I am being rough, I actually need to be more like the Hulk, it seems... now I just throw shit down wherever, stomp around, make a bit of noise, curse a bit, slam my lunch down on the table and shake my Crystal Light into my water bottle extra vigorously. I am fitting in a bit better, it seems.
And now, funny (as in not really 'haha' but more like a karate chop, 'hi-ya!') story...
So I am waiting for the bus to come home after work today. As is my usual, I am listening to music, texting and reading my book while I wait in line. I am at the head of the line. Someone pulled my arm really hard while I was texting so I turned around because I thought it was someone I knew messing around. I did not know this guy. He asked if the line was for the Timberlea bus. 'Yes, it is', I replied, 'but there are 4 of them - you have to ask the driver for the place you need.' Off he goes.
The bus arrives and we board. We wait for Go Time. Dude asks the driver if this is the right bus. There is a language problem. I can't help because it is a problem for me as well. Dude decides to sit by me.
Now, if I sit next to someone on public transportation, I do not fire up a convo with them and if they do, I am polite but not encouraging. I don't mean to sound snotty, I just don't want to be having a 'New Best Friends' chat in public, after a long day especially. And to be honest, as my Happy Bunny keychain says, "I know how you feel. I just don't care." That sums me up about perfectly.
Dude starts up a convo. Only I can't hear him because I am listening to tunes, texting and reading. He grabs my arm and shakes me. I am not kidding. The dude touched me and shook me. So I look at him, and the first thought I have is, "Is he in some medical issue? Cuz if he ain't, he will be shortly.." and he points to my earphones. I take one out and say, "I'm sorry, what did you say?"
And obviously, visual cues would state that someone who is multitasking and especially doing something to drown out background noise is not someone who is interested in having a New Best Friends chat. I was thinking the man might need directions on where to depart the bus. He says, "So, do you work at Syncrude?"
So by now I am probably looking at him with a mixture of stupidity and confusion and disbelief (misbelief?)... and I am thinking, "No, I caught a ride out there to catch the bus in.." But I say, "Yes, I do." and put back in the ear phone. Dude grabs my arm again, points to the ear phone... I take it out AGAIN and the guy across the aisle looks at me and snickers so I smile back and put him in a Death Glare. So now, losing patience, I say, "Yeah?" with eyebrows raised... dude is completely f*ing OBLIVIOUS to visual cues.
Ok so seriously, I don't think - actually I know - I am NOT the most approachable person in the world. In fact, I try to ignore most people, or try to give off the 'leave me alone' vibe... life is easier when you don't engage every person you meet in Chat Time...bear with me in a re-creation of today's events (based solely on a true story):
Dude: So what do you do out there?
Me: I am a pipefitter.
D: *raises eyebrows* Why?
M: Why what?
D: Why are you a pipefitter?
M: *thinking hard about whether or not this man suffers from mental retardation on some level* Cuz it's my job.
D: How long have you worked out there?
M: Four weeks.
D: It's my second day.
M: Right on.
D: I am a mechanical engineer.
M: Right on.
D: I plan your jobs.
M: Right on. *earphones back in head*
Notice my lack of interest...
D: *grabs my arm*
M: *pulls my arm away, earphone out* Yes?
D: Why do you want to be a pipefitter?
M: Cuz it's a good opportunity. *earphone in*
D: *grabs arm*
M: *seriously considering an elbow drop to the nose, sigh, eyebrows raised, earphone out*
D: What does your mom do?
M: What?
D: Does your mom work?
M: Yes, why?
D: Where?
M: Why?
D: Just wondering.
They tell me at work that I am not aggressive enough.
Go ahead, shake your head, rub your eyes... read again...
They tell me at work that I am not aggressive enough.
Yeah, you read it right the first time.
Never, in my life, have I ever been told this. Ever. If anything, it was just the opposite: "Terri, you are too passionate!" / "Terri, slow down!" / "Terri, you are too aggressive!"
Never: "Terri, you have to be more aggressive."
I thought it was a joke. It wasn't. See, when I finish something, I lay down the tool like my normal self and go about my business. When I use a machine, I am still tentative as it is new. So while I feel like I am being rough, I actually need to be more like the Hulk, it seems... now I just throw shit down wherever, stomp around, make a bit of noise, curse a bit, slam my lunch down on the table and shake my Crystal Light into my water bottle extra vigorously. I am fitting in a bit better, it seems.
And now, funny (as in not really 'haha' but more like a karate chop, 'hi-ya!') story...
So I am waiting for the bus to come home after work today. As is my usual, I am listening to music, texting and reading my book while I wait in line. I am at the head of the line. Someone pulled my arm really hard while I was texting so I turned around because I thought it was someone I knew messing around. I did not know this guy. He asked if the line was for the Timberlea bus. 'Yes, it is', I replied, 'but there are 4 of them - you have to ask the driver for the place you need.' Off he goes.
The bus arrives and we board. We wait for Go Time. Dude asks the driver if this is the right bus. There is a language problem. I can't help because it is a problem for me as well. Dude decides to sit by me.
Now, if I sit next to someone on public transportation, I do not fire up a convo with them and if they do, I am polite but not encouraging. I don't mean to sound snotty, I just don't want to be having a 'New Best Friends' chat in public, after a long day especially. And to be honest, as my Happy Bunny keychain says, "I know how you feel. I just don't care." That sums me up about perfectly.
Dude starts up a convo. Only I can't hear him because I am listening to tunes, texting and reading. He grabs my arm and shakes me. I am not kidding. The dude touched me and shook me. So I look at him, and the first thought I have is, "Is he in some medical issue? Cuz if he ain't, he will be shortly.." and he points to my earphones. I take one out and say, "I'm sorry, what did you say?"
And obviously, visual cues would state that someone who is multitasking and especially doing something to drown out background noise is not someone who is interested in having a New Best Friends chat. I was thinking the man might need directions on where to depart the bus. He says, "So, do you work at Syncrude?"
So by now I am probably looking at him with a mixture of stupidity and confusion and disbelief (misbelief?)... and I am thinking, "No, I caught a ride out there to catch the bus in.." But I say, "Yes, I do." and put back in the ear phone. Dude grabs my arm again, points to the ear phone... I take it out AGAIN and the guy across the aisle looks at me and snickers so I smile back and put him in a Death Glare. So now, losing patience, I say, "Yeah?" with eyebrows raised... dude is completely f*ing OBLIVIOUS to visual cues.
Ok so seriously, I don't think - actually I know - I am NOT the most approachable person in the world. In fact, I try to ignore most people, or try to give off the 'leave me alone' vibe... life is easier when you don't engage every person you meet in Chat Time...bear with me in a re-creation of today's events (based solely on a true story):
Dude: So what do you do out there?
Me: I am a pipefitter.
D: *raises eyebrows* Why?
M: Why what?
D: Why are you a pipefitter?
M: *thinking hard about whether or not this man suffers from mental retardation on some level* Cuz it's my job.
D: How long have you worked out there?
M: Four weeks.
D: It's my second day.
M: Right on.
D: I am a mechanical engineer.
M: Right on.
D: I plan your jobs.
M: Right on. *earphones back in head*
Notice my lack of interest...
D: *grabs my arm*
M: *pulls my arm away, earphone out* Yes?
D: Why do you want to be a pipefitter?
M: Cuz it's a good opportunity. *earphone in*
D: *grabs arm*
M: *seriously considering an elbow drop to the nose, sigh, eyebrows raised, earphone out*
D: What does your mom do?
M: What?
D: Does your mom work?
M: Yes, why?
D: Where?
M: Why?
D: Just wondering.
M: *thinking to myself - is this a joke? I look around to see if any of my guys are around...no one is.*
D: What does your dad do?
M: My father is dead.
D: I am sorry.
M: *earphone in*
D: *arm grab*
M: *angry eyes to the dude*
D: Do you have a brother?
(I am not kidding about any of this - it's all true)
M: No.
D: Then where do you live?
M: With a friend.
D: How much does she charge you?
M: Excuse me?
D: How much does she charge you to live there?
M: Nothing. We are friends.
D: Does she have a room I can rent?
M: No.
D: Ok, it's my 2nd day in town. I need a place to live.
M: *thinking, 'Not my problem, buddy - why come here if you have no where to live? Do I look like the Fort McMurray Welcome Wagon?' to him: nod... *earphone in*
D: So why are you a pipefitter? How much do they pay you?
M: *earphone out AGAIN* Excuse me? ...getting very cold now
D: enunciates very clearly, as if he thinks *I* am the one with issues here... How much does Syncrude pay you to work for them?
M: I haven't seen a paystub yet so I don't know.
D: How much do they pay a journeyman?
M: I don't know.
(obvious lies but shouldn't he be getting the pic by now?) D: You must have seen someone's paystub.
M: No. Someone's rate of pay is private.
D: Oh.
M: *earphone in*
D: *grab grab*
M: *arm pull away* WHAT?
D: This is just my opinion but a young girl like you should not be doing a man's work.
M: What?
D: Yeah, it's too hard for you.
Meanwhile, the dude might be 5'2 and 100 pounds. About the same size as my leg.
M: Too hard for me?... Obviously a joke, I think...
D: Yeah, women were not made to do that kind of work.
M: My father is dead.
D: I am sorry.
M: *earphone in*
D: *arm grab*
M: *angry eyes to the dude*
D: Do you have a brother?
(I am not kidding about any of this - it's all true)
M: No.
D: Then where do you live?
M: With a friend.
D: How much does she charge you?
M: Excuse me?
D: How much does she charge you to live there?
M: Nothing. We are friends.
D: Does she have a room I can rent?
M: No.
D: Ok, it's my 2nd day in town. I need a place to live.
M: *thinking, 'Not my problem, buddy - why come here if you have no where to live? Do I look like the Fort McMurray Welcome Wagon?' to him: nod... *earphone in*
D: So why are you a pipefitter? How much do they pay you?
M: *earphone out AGAIN* Excuse me? ...getting very cold now
D: enunciates very clearly, as if he thinks *I* am the one with issues here... How much does Syncrude pay you to work for them?
M: I haven't seen a paystub yet so I don't know.
D: How much do they pay a journeyman?
M: I don't know.
(obvious lies but shouldn't he be getting the pic by now?) D: You must have seen someone's paystub.
M: No. Someone's rate of pay is private.
D: Oh.
M: *earphone in*
D: *grab grab*
M: *arm pull away* WHAT?
D: This is just my opinion but a young girl like you should not be doing a man's work.
M: What?
D: Yeah, it's too hard for you.
Meanwhile, the dude might be 5'2 and 100 pounds. About the same size as my leg.
M: Too hard for me?... Obviously a joke, I think...
D: Yeah, women were not made to do that kind of work.
M: *earphone in*
D: *grab grab* Nothing to say?
M: *earphone out* Nothing nice... *earphone in*
Now, I am a smart woman. I know that the physiological make-up of the male and female bodies are different and were made for different purposes. I was raised with the idea that everyone is equal and if something needs to be done, do it - don't bicker over who does what better - get your sh!t done.
M: *earphone out* Nothing nice... *earphone in*
Now, I am a smart woman. I know that the physiological make-up of the male and female bodies are different and were made for different purposes. I was raised with the idea that everyone is equal and if something needs to be done, do it - don't bicker over who does what better - get your sh!t done.
I also believe in equality, freedom and free choice. Is this not something I enjoy as a Canadian citizen? While my body may not be 'made' to do physical labour like a man's body, choosing to do said labour is a freedom granted to me in the country I live... It is my CHOICE regardless of what anyone else might think... you are entitled to your opinion and choices, as am I...
D: *grab grab* There are a lot of Newfies here.
I know I am on Candid Camera or Punk'd. Someone wants to see me attempt to bootstomp this little old man. Now I know I have to be nice.
M: Yes there are.
D: Do you know any?
~ As if we Newfies are some weird species of animal that could possibly be a danger to others who are non-Newfies. We aren't Hitler's SS or killer sharks or something... However, I am tempted to pretend this man is a little baby seal and I am a big bad fisherman in January 1800s...
*And PS* - nothing p!sses me off like some prejudiced jerk calling me a "NEWFIE" when he is not from Newfoundland. My friends and fellow Newfies can call me a Newfie but random arseholes cannot come up to me and claim some kind of solidarity with me because they know a provincial nickname. I don't go around calling people Rednecks or Gopher Chasers or any other foolish thing like that... and how would it be for me as a white person if I used some racist name in reference to some non-white person? It would not be good. So why do all these ARSEHOLES think it's ok to call me a Newfie?
M: *staring at him*
D: Are you a Newfie?
M: I am from Newfoundland, yes.
D: You must be an English teacher, then, because you don't have an accent.
M: *thinking to myself, 'he knows you, he is baiting you, stop talking to him right now'*
Dude is a freaking psycho or psychic - I can't tell.
I put my earphones in and ignore him the next two times he grabs my arm. I cannot take anymore. I would have moved away but I was on the inside of the front seat. God or the Devil was testing me, I think.
I tried not to be prejudiced or racist or anything stupid. I am not a perfect person though. I am only human. I wanted to beat up that skinny little prejudiced frigger. Then I thought, he is not worth my time. I will have to go to jail for beating up someone stupid. I am not doing it.
SO in the space of less than ten minutes, this little man insulted me at least three times, assaulted my arm numerous times and pissed me right off, to boot.
When he got off the bus, he said See you later to me. As if we were new best friends and we were going to hang out. That prejudiced little patriarchal jerk...
So this week, I had to deal with two stupid people. The first is not important. The second was unbelievable.
This sh!t comes in threes, though... Next time, I am just elbow dropping the idiot. No more thinking before acting. I am becoming like Macbeth.
I'm supposed to work at becoming more aggressive, right? ;)
When he got off the bus, he said See you later to me. As if we were new best friends and we were going to hang out. That prejudiced little patriarchal jerk...
So this week, I had to deal with two stupid people. The first is not important. The second was unbelievable.
This sh!t comes in threes, though... Next time, I am just elbow dropping the idiot. No more thinking before acting. I am becoming like Macbeth.
I'm supposed to work at becoming more aggressive, right? ;)
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