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Sunday, March 20, 2011

PD: aSS :) Chapter 2

PD: aSS Chapter 2: Gonna make you sweat
"Hey, hey, hey... sweat, sweat, let the music move your soul, let your body move you, sweat, sweat" (C&C Music Factory)

In Cosmo magazine, there are often articles about a person’s smell, whether it be good or bad or whatever. I have read these articles... they discuss the basics of scent and how it can attract you to your mate. They discuss how you can be attracted to someone even when they are sweaty. You even pick your friends on the basis of this primal thing. Well, it gets pretty hot and sweaty out on site. Can’t really say that I was attracted to anything sweaty. I even had a sweaty dude next to me on the bus. Not so attractive.
~ I don’t think these Cosmo writers and editors ever spent a hot day at Syncrude. I am pretty sure they haven’t, actually. ‘Cuz it gets pretty sweaty out there. Overall, I can’t say that I could smell anything I was attracted to. No offense intended, I just think that Cosmo should do a little better research before sending girls off all ok with smelling other people. Even the most random things start to smell a little different when it’s hot. Like a sandwich left on a table, or someone’s socks or even someone.

~ At the pressure they use, steam can blow your head off of your body. The chemicals they use to purify water can liquify a human body if you fall into a vat. I feel like I am working at a Serial Killer Event Planning Workshop. No steam teasing or vat jumping for me.
~ Earlier in the week, I thought that 34 was about as hot as I could stand it. That’s hotter than any place I have ever been before. Consider, if you will, the average temperature in NL: no lower then -30 up to +25. Those are the extremes. Here, at 34, I thought, Hell must be like this. I had no idea just how hot Earth could truly be.

~ Today, I was taken on a tour while I was waiting for approval to begin work. I was taken to places where HOT is an understatement. In one place, it was so hot, I thought I was melting. I had things sweating that I did not even know could sweat. For example, my eyelids started sweating. Who even knew they could? Backs of the knees? Sweating. I am pretty sure at one point that even my toenails were a bit sweaty. I bet you’re laughing. But that is because you really don’t know the extent of the sweatiness. Go ahead, laugh. It’s supposed to hit 37 on Thursday. Laugh when your AC doesn’t work cuz it’s too hot. Yeah, I said it.

~ Amidst all this hot and steam and sweat (GREAT combo, btw), we had to tour places that were abnormally hot even on regular days (by the nature of the work done there) and also up some stairs. And by, ‘up some stairs’, I mean, up some flights of stairs. You know those open grates on streets where you can see the sewer system beneath? Well, on these stairs and floors that these platforms are attached to are nothing but grates - everything is made from that grating. Now, if you read The Prequel, you know I am not fond of heights. In fact, once when I helped my uncle build his house, I had to get on the roof and I barfed when I was there. It messed me up that much. Well, a few flights of grated stairs and floors later, heights were no longer a worry ‘cuz I was so hot that nothing else in this world really mattered except having a drink and maybe slipping off the gloves just a bit to get some hot, sweaty, muggy, flowing air on my hands. It is really funny how priorities change when your circumstances change. All I could think of was, “Please let the tornado come so I can get some wind and oxygen!”

~ When I got back on the cement floor, looking up made me a bit nauseous because it was so high. Heat rises. You can’t take off any protective wear. After going up a few (and by a few, I mean I climbed about a billion), it gets harder and harder each time. In fact, I might not go into the plumbing business but into the weight loss business because the sweating and stair climbing has got to be the best kept secret ever. My motto: “You want to lose some of the poundage? Come see me and I’ll make your ass sweat (literally)!” I will take before and after pictures of myself to sell the program.

~ One old dude told me that once, he had to work in that building and it registered 77. Celsius. Inside. H O T. Not the old dude - the building. But if he is reading this, then I meant him. LOL.

Back in the day, when I was growing up and my two best friends were a T-Rex and a Stegosaurus, I used to wear clothes because they were comfortable and I could party and run from the cops (LOL) in easy fashion. One of my favourite items was a pair of blue jogging pants that were kind of like yoga pants because the elastic had burst at the bottom. Although yoga pants were not in style, these pants were comfy and suited my purposes perfectly. Another item was a pink shirt that was really nothing but an old comfy shirt. These items combined were perfect for beach parties, etc. When I finally went to see an eye doctor, he told me that I had colour deficiencies (read: similar to colour blindness). So I went home and told my mom and described to her just how the colours I was seeing were not really the colours they actually were. So I tested her: “What colours are these pants and shirt, mom?” To which she promptly replied, “Purple and orange.” I was shocked. I asked why she never told me this before. She said she thought I was just eccentric.
~ Funny story: my coveralls are blue and my hard hat is orange. I did not even pick the colours. It’s not that funny now that I read it.

~ Still love the boots. They are good, good, good. If there were Cat boots that were high fashion, I might buy them.

~ Guys were great today. Very positive about getting a new fitter. Didn’t meet my mentor. Won’t meet him until Monday. They are all pretty enthusiastic. Were kind of worried that I'd be a bit prissy, I think. So I was sassy. Just my regular self. Seemed to work fine.

~ I love this job. It is going to be fun.
~ It is hot. And sweaty.

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