PD: aSS :) Chapter 8

PD: aSS: Chapter 8 “Put ‘er on pause for a spell, will ya?”

Last week, everything smelled like dog crap. I thought I was getting the flu.

This week, I am too tired to rest and my throat and ears hurt. I thought I was getting a cold.

Something is wrong, I figure...

Now, I don’t know about everyone, but I do know that when I get sick, I want to be home laying on my mom’s couch while she makes me soup and tells me what to do for a little while. Then I can nap and relinquish all life’s details into more capable hands while I rest. I also revert back to my young self when I am sick, so much so that even my strong Newfie h-accent returns. In fact, I gets so Newfie that sometimes even me own mudder can’t figger out fer the life of ‘er what is I is trying to say. I gets like dat sometimes. When I am sick, I am the worst I h-ever been.

So, since last week I been havin’ some troubles with the ‘ealth, you might say. H-at first, I tot I was just catchin’ de cold or fightin’ off some h-August / fall bug. I rested (‘til I tot to my h-own self dat h-I was in de coma) in the ‘opes of gettin’ rid of de little bug that decided to ‘itch de ride h-on my h-immune system. ‘Frig de bugs,’ I figgers, ‘I got no room for de freeloaders’. So h-into the coma I went.

Just like de Sleepin’ Be-auty, I wakes up and sure shot, de bugs is still on board.

So, h-off to de ‘ospital I goes in the ‘opes of gettin’ ‘er all cleared up right quick.

The doctor says to me, he says, “Missus, why in the name of all dat is good and ‘oly did you wait so long to come to get some of de medicine? You gots what we in de medical profession calls the h-ear h-infection! H-in bot’ h-of de h-ears, too!”

“Fine h-enough,” I says to he, “t’row on the medicine! I gots the sore t’roat, too, if it makes any difference to ye.”

85 pounds of pills later, h-off I goes to the ‘ouse to catch up on de lack of de coma.

H-a day later, h-I is still h-awake.

‘Dis h-is da pretty shabby circumstances,’ I t’inks to meself, ‘What is h-I to do now?’

So radder than ‘ead on down to de fine h’establishment known in dese parts as d’ ‘ospital, I gets de bright h-idea of calling de ‘ealth Link of H-Alberta!! I got ‘er knocked, I figgers.

So the missus on de phone bawls me out and says to me, she says, “Listen Missy, if you gots de problem longer dan four days den you knows it’s not the cold or the flu. It’s h-alright to go to d’ ‘ospital den, b’y, you know! My dear, you gots to straighten h-out and take better care of yourself.”

Well, dis is h-as close h-as h-I got to me mudder telling me h-off in de long while which makes me kind of ‘omesick. H-I decides right den and dere dat h-I is calling me mudder as soon as dis woman is finished tearing a strip off of de me for bein’ stunned.

“Well, b’y,” I says to the Nurse Missus, “h-I never had de h-ear h-infection before dis, ya know. How’s I gunna know what I is at in dat regards, now? C’mon, b’y.”

“Well,” says she to me, “you sounds like you’s gots the bad strep t’roat on the go dere but since you gots medicine h-already, you might as well give ‘er a shot before you ‘eads back to de ‘ospital so dat at least you knows if the drugs is gunna kick in. Drink some warm tea and try to t’row on d’ ‘umidifier!”

‘Fair h-enough,’ I t’inks to meself.

“T’anks a lot now, Missus!” I says to the Nurse Missus. And ‘angs up the phone. Picks ‘er h-up and calls de ole mudder. H-it’s t’ree h-AM in H-Alberta so h-it’s six t’irty h-on da rock.

Groggy and sounding like the wild tom cat, mudder says, “Hello?!”

“Mom! Whaddyat!” I says to me mudder.

“Nutting!” me mudder says to me, “What are you at?”

“I got de sore h-ears and de sore t’roat, mudder,” I says to she.

“Yes, b’y,” she says to me, “You go to d’ ‘ospital or wha’?”

So I tells ‘er de ‘ole yarn about de ways of the strep t’roat suspection.

She tells me to drink de tea and take de h-antibiotics. Good chance me mudder knows what she is at, I figgers. Mudders knows h-everything.

“T’anks, now, mudder!” I says and ‘angs up the phone.

What the God is I gunna do now? H-I is not sleepy, h-I got a t’ousand books but h-I don’t feel like reading. H-I got a anudder t’ousand crafts started but h-I is not feeling very crafty so h-I is at de loss now.

No chance on going to work now - ‘aven’t slept in two days, can’t stand up straight for falling h-over h-off de balance.

Pretty shabby circumstances, h-I figgers.

So, h-I gots the cup of de ‘oney lemon tea h-on the go. It’s almost daylight dere soon, I t’ink. H-if h-I was ‘ome, h-I could be getting ready to go on da water with de b’yes or in the woods with da crowd, I s’pose. But h-I h-isn’t ‘home a-tall, a-tall. H-and h-I s’pose if you gots de touch of the bad t’roat you shouldn’t be h-out frigging h-around h-anyway.

May as well take ‘er easy for a spell, as me grandfadder would have said. Nan would tell me to pack up good and warm if I called her. May as well wait for her Rosary to be done. Don’t want to get bawled out by the Grandmudder on de Rosary circuit.

I’ll just drink my tea and pause for a spell, I guess...

****

I gave up writing about this experience not long after this... I was just too busy. I went back to teaching in October, as being a student just wasn't financially feasible for me.

The experience was fun, and it was eye-opening, and it was HOT. It was nice to be nameless and faceless for awhile - this I mostly felt when I was waiting for the bus in the midst of the other hundred(s) of people doing the same.

This illness turned out to be strep throat and I was sick for almost month. Fun times. I found out I was really sick because I woke up one night and in my attempt to go to the bathroom, I stood up, kind of fell sideways and grabbed for my bookshelf. I kind of remember doing it, but not.

The bookshelf crashed to the floor in front of me. I picked my way over it, and completely naked, opened my bedroom door and walked across the hallway to the bathroom. This wouldn't be a problem except I lived with a friend and she had boarders.

One of those boarders had heard the bookcase crash down and had run upstairs to see if I was ok. No doubt he got an eyeful.

I didn't see him, so off I went to the bathroom, completely out of my mind, presumably in a feverish state. I came out of the bathroom, turned on my light, saw the mess, put on my robe, and walked out to the kitchen to get water. Immediately, the boarder asked me if I was ok. I said yes I was, and asked him if he was ok. He then asked if I was on drugs. I said no, of course not, but I asked if someone was running around the house because someone tore down my bookshelf. He asked me some other stuff but I told him I was tired and had to go to bed.

I then went back to bed. He must have thought I was out of my mind.

I didn't really know what was wrong. I went to the doctor, though, and the doctor thought I must have been crazy because my throat and ears were bad.But I hadn't been sick like that before so I didn't know. And I think when you are sick, and you are trying to sleep and heal, you might not know how sick you really are.

Anyway, I did really well with the Pipefitting Situation. I got on A on that practicum and would have done well in school. It's all good. I can't imagine working out there in the winter.

:)