PD: aSS :) Chapter 7

PD: aSS Chapter 7: "Looking back..."

... on the memory of the dance we shared..." (Garth Brooks)

Last week, Jason asked me if I was going to miss school.

Today, a new guy I met at work was asking me about my previous job - he said he had heard that I was a teacher and was wondering why I would make that big a switch... he asked me about the school and the kids etc etc etc

* That's when it hit me, and today it hit me hard: I will miss school more than even I thought I would.* My heart kind of hurt.

Before I finished up in June, Nadine sent me an email stating the top ten reasons why she will miss me when I am gone. Here are the top things I will miss (cue the violins, please...):

1. the KIDS - even though sometimes getting through to a kid was REALLY hard, I will miss the laughs we had in class, the days some of them called me a bitch but then apologized because they did not want to hurt my feelings, the times they came to me for help or advice, the sassy kids who came to class just to torment me or just because they liked how the class was run, the times they came to me for a chat or a visit, the times they brought me coffee and smiles and brightened my days, the times in class we used to neogotiate our workload, the times in class that we neogotiated our movie choices, the times when they'd learn to be sarcastic back to me, the times they'd see me around town and want to say hi or give me a hug, the days when we'd all work our butts off and then play heads up 7 up, the scary stories, the fun times... that's the best part of teaching - getting to know all of those people - kids' stories are the best things in the world - that I will definitely miss the most. I think I might even miss the ones who truly hated me: you really have to get under someone's skin before they can hate you. And the trust they displayed in letting me see them at their weakest either through their writing or our relationships... that's true beauty right there. The stories - whether written or oral - priceless.

2. the ELA dept - the snide comments with Kirsten in the hallway, the bitch sessions with Jason, the camaraderie (wait a minute - I only had 100 days of school / year - can I use that word??) with Nadine ;), the smart chats with Lisa, the feel-good chats with Anita, the rant sessions with Elaine, the quiet chats with Eithne, and the good teaching advice from Patricia... you guys made my job fun :)

3. the school in general - I will miss the people - saying good morning to people in the morning and knowing that I have true friends there - knowing that when I need help, I can go to any one of these people and they will listen, or give me a hug, or help however they can... that sense of security is priceless. I will definitely miss that. The chats in the hallway, the pats on the back, the eye rolling as you pass in the hall, the knowing that even if we didn't talk this week, we are still friends and we could get together anytime - all those little things that really makes you friends with someone...

4. the routine - I will miss the days in terms of time - how the day was laid out, how I got to try to make kids love literature like I do, how I knew the spring was always busier but easier than the fall, getting kids ready for the exams...

5. I will miss teaching Huck Finn. When ordering the books for me, Elaine made me promise to teach it at least ten times. I tried!!!

6. I will miss teaching Macbeth. The best play in the world. I half want to be Macbeth or Lady Macbeth regardless of their fates...

~ point of interest: I hate it when people said 'irregardless' - WTF kind of word is that? same with 'supposibly' - but that one is in the dictionary F@%$

7. I will miss reading the short stories with great endings to the kids ("On The Sidewalk Bleeding", "Burnt Toast", "Just Lather", "Lady or the Tiger" and the one with about the bet and the snake with the lady who proved she was strong) and their reactions to those stories...

It's like when you move away from home the first time and you realize there are little things that made it home: your bathtub, the evening light through your window, the way the third step squeaked... those are the things you miss - the ones you don't really think about until they are not there anymore...

And now, in building a new home, so to speak...
Top Things about the new job:
* I learn new stuff everyday
* I am a Worker Bee and not Queen Bee for awhile
* It's a break from my normal routine
I get to go back to school
I get to slam things around sometimes

I get to make things
I get to be anonymous for awhile

Who knows how it will turn out... Elaine says I will be back by sem. 2 but I will be in school then :P

Who knew leaving something you love (of your own free will) to try something new could be hard?

The violins can stop now. Damn things are giving me a headache ;)