"Try-Athletes": Barf in the Pool

I didn't do it.

All day, I was unsure whether or not I would go swimming. You see, at 2am this morning, my little dog decided it was time to get up and go for a run - all over me and my bed. So I was woken by this little furball who would not go back to sleep. And while I love him, I do not want to be awake that early. So that is how the day started. Nearly 6 hours later, I then slipped on ice coming out of my house and fell sideways into snow, nearly slicing my arm open as my arm fell through the ice due to the thawing and freezing that has been happening.

At that point, I thought to myself, 'If I am dirty and bleeding, I am going back inside and calling work to say I am not coming in because I should not be around children if I am hurt and this p!ssed off." And that will be directly AFTER I kick the bejeezus out of the house like a donkey.

But I wasn't bleeding. My arm hurt but I 'sucked it up, buttercup' and went to work. You see, I am teaching Huck Finn and I really love that book, so off I went. It doesn't take much to balance out the world.

But I didn't like it.

When I got to work, Jenny reminded me that we also had a meeting right after school. Well, that was enough for me to just want to lay in a corner and be done with the day. There was no way I could go home after school to eat and visit Harley, come back for a meeting, rehearse, then go swimming, etc. I couldn't do everything. Plus God knows how long this meeting could last, since it would start at 4.

Sweet Lord almighty in Heaven. So I set it down: no rehearsal, no swimming, nothing. This meeting, and that was it for me. I was going home and that was it.

So all day, Jenny kept telling me I was going to Swim, and I wasn't sure, and all I could think of was that the pool was going to freeze, and I didn't want to move my arms and legs a lot - I just wanted to lay down and relax. My dog is always alone, and sleeping, which is why he wakes up at 2am and races around the bed. I figured staying home would be good.

At lunch, one of the other teachers asks if we would like to have our school group do a fundraiser and Jenny jumps on the idea. I am a bit wary because it is hard to get kids at the last minute. Jenny's EXACT words were, "We'll do it! I can get kids no problem. Kids love me. I can get kids in 10 minutes."

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Jenny rounded up ONE kid. And to this minute, I am still not sure if he is coming. We need ten kids. So, all day, I have been hounding kids to come to this black tie affair. I was doing this ALL afternoon - texting kids, even the graduates from last year.

This fundraiser is an excellent opportunity and I am glad we have it, however, I could punch her in the head for the "I can get kids in ten minutes!" because this is what she did next:

- she went home at 5:30pm for a N-A-P, without confirming with anyone that the gala fundraiser volunteers were ready for tomorrow. Miss "I can get kids in ten minutes! Kids love me!" went home for a nap.

- At 3:30 she had a meeting. At that point, I was feverishly facebooking kids the info and asking them to get back to me ASAP regarding the fundraiser.

- At 4:00 we decided to go for supper. She was buying, even though that was unnecessary. She bought dinner the night before, but she said I bought lunch, but I only bought salad, and she said "Well I only bought a Pogo", and I said, "Well you bought me a Pogo so don't worry about it!" and for some reason, this was absolutely hilarious to her, which made me laugh, too. Our arguments are completely ridiculous. Some people fight about religion and territory. We fight about salad and Pogos. Pogoes. Pogo's. Whatever.

- At 5:15 we went home. So at 5:30, she says she is going for a nap. 'Call before you come get me!' she texted.

- At 5:30pm, I was facebooking and texting kids to ensure they could come to the gala and that they had rides. What was "I can get kids in ten minutes!" doing? Oh, she was having a snooze and dreaming about rainbows and unicorns, no doubt.

PS - after canceling rehearsal, etc., our original meeting was rescheduled.

And then, when I called her at 6:50 to wake her up, she didn't answer the damn phone. Of course. So I called again, and she was out to lunch because she was still asleep. When I picked her up, she was a Giggle Bomb, trying to explain that she was still asleep. When I told her all about my feelings regarding the "I can get kids in ten minutes!" she said, "Oh, I didn't know it was Comedy Hour!" because apparently I am hilarious when I tell my feelings. Well, then.

Then, we drive downtown, only to get a text message form Alanna, telling us that the pool is closed because it is full of barf. Seriously. Someone seriously barfed in the pool. So they have to spike the chlorine, and then let that settle down. It wouldn't be done before our swim time was up so we decided to leave. We even saw our new swim buddy there but it was all a waste.

Barf Lips McGee was in attendance and had taken over the situation. Good job, buddy. You ruined our Swim plans.

On the way back, Jenny figured we could go to WalMart and get her retreat stuff straightened away. She also thought it would be a good time to get her passport photos taken. I told her yeah, because her hair was in a ponytail, it was a good time. My EXACT words were, "Yeah, they'll make you put your hair in a ponytail." Somehow, she took this to mean I was saying she was a dirty rotten ugly face. *shakes head*... So then we had a racket about that.

"What we got here is a failure to communicate." (GnR)

Anyway, by the time we were halfway through the Tim Horton's lineup, we realized that neither of us had purses and the amount of money we had totaled up to $7.25 - enough for water, a hot chocolate and donut each. So WalMart was out.

We talked about going to LA on the way home. We have to look for good things to do while we are there. Universal Studios and the Walk of Fame are for sure... but we need more things to do. Meanwhile, Jenny was telling me off for everything, so I told her the trip was off. She said no, the trip was back on, whether I liked it or not. I don't know when she got so bossy. Maybe LA isn't the best place for us to go - we are a comedy show unto ourselves and it could get out of control. On the other hand, maybe LA is the best place for us...

If we could ever get in the frigging pool to keep up with our workouts, we would be in good shape to go there - the Walk of Fame is 15 blocks long or something - we have a lot to do. People barfing in the pool is NOT conducive to our health and body shaping.

Just sayin'.

BTW - we are not mad with each other, we regularly talk to each other this way. You should see us in person.

Also, we are working out for 4 hours tomorrow because we missed 2 hours of Swim and 1.5 hours of Spin this week due to various other things that basically messed up our workout lives.

And for those of you who may still be reading, I hope you are still able to hear me in these stories.

Sometimes, I forget that this is essentially a life piece - it isn't meant to be 'correct' in any way, shape or form.

If you are reading, I hope you can picture it. I hope you laugh sometimes. I hope our successes inspire you. And if you don't like it & it annoys you, all it takes is a mouse click to close the browser window ;-)

Take care :)

Broken Hipped Cats on Ice

I like Spring. I LOVE the time between Spring and Summer, and the time between Summer and Fall... when it isn't too hot or too cold. You see, I am not a fan of extreme temperatures. I like temperate temperatures. I also like the ground I am walking on to stay in place while I am walking on it (i.e., not to crunch, slip, or 'founder' as we Newfoundlanders would say).

I would buy rainboots for this time of year, except it is still slippery outside, and that could be dangerous since rainboots are made of rubber. So unless my rainboots have cleats, that is not such a good idea.

So many things in this world p!ss me off.

Slippery road conditions, and slippery walking conditions are just two of them. When you have to walk like a cat with a broken hip just to do the most mundane things, like get to your vehicle, or walk to your door, or walk across the street, the very act of doing so enrages me to the point that I am pretty sure the top of my head could explode if I think too much about it.

So, Spring is here and things are melting, and I am glad of that.

I am very glad that I don't have to walk anywhere. It is much too wet out to have to walk anywhere - Dear God, there are huge puddles everywhere because the sewer system cannot handle the amount of water melting all at once.

Meanwhile, when the night comes, the temperature drops and things freeze up a little bit again. This is where things get nasty.

All the liquid that started running around during the day has started to make little rivers around the place, happily cutting through snow and ice, carving its way through everything in its path. Everything above, under, in front of, behind, on top, etc., is pushed out of the way by these little raging rivers of melted snow...

And then the night comes...

But because everything isn't melted, the upper layer of snow gets icy...

AND THE BOTTOM LAYER... oh, wait, there is no bottom layer, because the damn river washed it away.

So, here I am, walk walk walk like a broken hipped cat, trying not to slip on the frigging icy snowbanks, which have been made even worse near houses that have had water dripping off them all day, and every now and then... you just CRASH through the icy top layer of snow because there is nothing underneath.

It's like a field of landmines to get anywhere. Icy, icy, icy... walk here, oh wait - icy, careful careful AHHHH Crash!

Now it may just be a little Crash, but you go through the icy snow and hit whatever is underneath with a little jolt nonetheless. It may be only an inch or two, but an inch or two is enough when it is unexpected.

And then my temper rises.

And after a couple of these little jolts, I just want to hurl my purse, or bookbag, or dog at whatever is near me. I don't even care. I want to kick my vehicle and pull my hair out.

Sweet Sacred Heart of Jesus, melt already! Where in the blazes is the sun? Where is the 40 degree weather now? In July, we will all be dying for heavy rain or even just a couple of cool showers, but when we need a couple of days of that in March, where is it?

Nope, we get little rivers and icy goodness.

Seriously.

First, Mr Weather... *insert expletive here* off. You know what I am saying. Get your job done, and do it now. Straighten the hell out. No more icy layers on top of open air-like overhangs on cliffs. That is dangerous.

Second, it's time for Spring to man up and take over from Winter. Enough with this pussyfooting around.

Third, where the hell do you buy decent rainboots in this town? And a raincoat?

Fourth, where the hell do you buy cleats? What the hell do they look like? And do you attach them to

your shoes or are they shoes unto themselves?

Fifth, if we own all kinds of energy, can we do something about this freezing cold Arctic problem? Can someone turn on the heat up here so we don't have ice outdoors all the time? Let's lay some pipe underground throughout the entire city and somehow use it like in-floor heating. I don't care how it is done, obviously I just thought of it, so it is possible. Somebody better get on it ASAP. Call the scientists and engineers right now.

I am eco-friendly but this is important.

I know I am eco-friendly because I took an environmentally friendly test and I hit over 95% eco-friendly, so I have some wiggle-room here. I can tear up a bit of the environment for this very important heating system in an effort to stop ice and snow. This will cut down on anger problems, aggravation and medical bills from injuries sustained from both anger and slippery conditions. It's win-win.

I am proposing the City-Pipe Heating System.

CPHS will be no cost to anyone. In addition, we will also start making gas here, since we have the crude, and gas prices will go down for us, too. May as well have some benefits from living here, right?

The Weather will be no issue for us - we have the brains and willpower to fix this problem. No more Broken Hipped Cats on Ice. If we want ice from now on, we will have to make it, or head on down to MacIsland to the rink to use their ice.

Have fun.

"Try-Athletes": I Do What I Want

I went to Try-Club tonite & I was alone until I was putting my sneakers on... and in strolls Kash & Kirsten aka Scales... our two newest members. They decided to come out to do the Spin tonite, their first real foray into the Spin of things.

They were a bit anxious to start Spin because they were a bit terrified of Miguel. Somehow, Jenny had them informed that he was going to single them out and scream at them. I think they thought they were coming to the military or something. I told them to relax a bit, because it's really not like that. He was a bit rough on us during my first night there, but I don't know how he was with Lisa & Jenny on their first night with him. And by rough, I mean he doesn't put up with any sh!t.

So Scales and Kash (we are still working on a nickname for her) were prepared to be put through the wringer.

We got our bikes settled away and got on them, pedaling slowly. The girls wanted to warm up. They chatted with a couple of the other ladies there, some other newer teachers from the district. Kirsten was worried that she didn't have music because I brought my iPod. I like having a rhythm and background music to accompany me on my voyages into the other realms as my head 'spins' off as I pedal my arse away, but Miguel is all business and doesn't bring tunes. It's all good. I do what I want. Kirsten wanted to do the same but she forgot, I guess. She forgot to do what she wanted - she is not very good at being Oppositional Defiant, yet - she has to work on it, even though she works daily with the best OD kids in Fort McMurray.

I also told the girls that they don't have to do exactly what he says; they have to do what is right for their bodies. It was nice to be a 'veteran', so to speak. We are now the ones helping the newbies!! So while he was telling us to climb to gear 500, I was still on gear 10 and they were working on gear 8. You just gotta do what is right for you.

Because we were there on Saturday, Kirsten was having some difficulty with the bike seat. Awwww Yeah! The Vag Busters are back in town! It took a little bit for her to be able to sit comfortably on the bike, and it was a bit funny to see the pain radiating from her face, only because it was a perfect mirror of the pain we endured just 2 short months ago. As she said, "If nothing else, this is a perfect comedy routine."

Meanwhile, I'm pretty sure I farted while I ran by an old lady tonite. I'm not 100% sure but that wasn't very nice. I didn't try to do it but that's it, I suppose. Sorry 'bout it.

I left Try-Club early, tonite, too. As I said, I do what I want :D... It's Parent/Teacher Interview Week, I have a ton of papers to grade, I have some stuff I need to make with a serious deadline approaching that I cannot miss (and that is difficult for a procrastinator like me!), and I figured I already did a couple of running laps and a bunch of biking so it's all good.

The running is not getting easier.

I'm jiggly and whatnot, so that's rough going.

Whatever about it, I'm still doing it.

All in all, I had a good night, though. I got on the bike at about 6:40, and we actually began class at about 7:15 or so, so I got in an extra few minutes of cardio. And I also ran, which I wasn't doing 2 months, or even 2 weeks, ago.

And you know what? I am not a morning person, so every morning that I get out of bed before 12-1pm is a day where I congratulate myself profusely for good behaviour. Anything after that is gravy. I am not kidding. You might think so, but I am not. I am an evening / night kind of person. I work best during that time, especially under strict deadlines.

Deadlines really seem to mean nothing these days, though.

Anyway, volunteering, working out, all that stuff - I congratulate myself if I do that stuff because lots of times, it's easier not to do it. I pat myself on the back even more if I attempt to do the hard stuff. For too long, I have been hard on myself. I am still my own toughest critic, but other than my mother, I am also my own biggest fan.

So I didn't do core tonite so I gotta get back to doing that. Jenny and I have been noticing a lot of differences in our bodies over the past month, especially. Our clothes fit us differently. Our legs are taking on different shapes. Mine are starting to reshape themselves from the knees and moving upwards - how weird is that?? My shoulders, waist and face are becoming smaller. Even my hands and feet are becoming smaller.

Jenny said her belly is becoming different, her arms are becoming more toned and the backs of her legs are becoming more muscular.

***

Jenny, Kirsten and Kash went swimming on Sunday. I was going to go but due to my Night Owl problem, I woke up at 4am and could not get back to sleep until about 8am so I didn't go. It's hard to function when you only have a couple of hours worth of sleep. I get contrary when that happens. It's better for me to not be around others at that point.

Jenny said the girls both swim like little fishies. Kash said the Swim Coach told her when she swims faster, her butt will stop moving around so much. LOL.

***

Once Upon A Time...

... we began making goals every 4 weeks, and we did ok with those goals, and then somehow, they started tapering off. Our first goal was to stay in Try-Club for 4 weeks, and we did. The second goal was to start eating better. Well, to tell you the truth, I ate better before I started Try-Club. But that was for Feb / early March, and things have since been amended and will continue to get better. I have been eating a lot of grains and eggs and milk, chicken and pasta, etc. I am getting back to normal.

So, I have to come up with a new goal.

I have April, May and June before this summer hits.

Jenny and I want to go to LA for a week or so at the end of June. We want to act like little kids at Universal Studios and pose with the stars on the Walk of Fame, and we want to look good when we go there.

The production happens during the first week of June.

Tri-Club finishes their indoor bike training in May but Jenny and I intend to continue Spin classes at MacIsland because we are afraid to ride bikes on the highway. Plus, we won't really have time during May and June.

So... our next 3 goals for each of the next 3 months...