Just Us Tinseltown Girls

Jenny & I like all things related to Hollywood... the gossip, the movies, the actors, etc. So, of course, we watch The Oscars.

I got a text from Jenny around 4pm that read, are you watching the oscars tonight?

I said that I was, that I couldn't wait, that I had just grabbed a pizza and was ready to go. She asked if we wanted to watch them together. So I called her.

"Listen," I started, "my house is rotten. I haven't cleaned up in days. Harley and I are piglets and we don't care."

"I don't care either!" she said.

"No, seriously, listen," I continued, "my house is so dirty, that I have dishes here that haven't been washed in years. I have laundry that hasn't been packed away even though it was washed days ago, and I didn't take out the garbage yet. Harley's stuff is everywhere."

"Stop it! I don't care! I'm from the woods, I don't care about that stuff!" Jenny yelled at me.

"No, listen, my house is really dirty." I said, in a desperate attempt to ensure she was prepared for the state of my house.

"Shut up! What do you want from the store?" Jenny asked.

And so it was settled. I then went on a bid for the 10-second-tidy before she arrived. The bathroom was straightened up, and the dishes went into the sink. There was no hope in organizing anything - unless I intend to throw away everything I own, there is no way to get everything tidy. I have books, movies and various electronics everywhere. There are clothes from one end of the house to the other. There are crafts and paper in every nook and cranny. There are purses and bags and boots all over the place. When someone says, 'My house is lived in', they usually mean it looks comfortable. My house looks like it is lived in by a commune of at least 20 unorganized, forgetful people. However, there is just me and one very untidy dog. He doesn't put away anything, either. Whatever, it's all good.

So Jenny called, and said she was outside to pick me up to go shopping for snacks. We grab snacks, and drop in to her house to grab some other stuff. We watch a bit of the pre-show there and can't believe some of the dresses. Ummm, hello - Gwyneth, why are you dressing like Oscar? Try some colour other than gold.

It's a good thing we are perfect. We are dressed in our finest - jeans and sweats. Hair tied back, hoodies on, and wool socks in my case. Good to go.

We finally get back to my house and settle in with pizza, chocolate, and drinks. Let the big show begin!

My cousin calls and asks what we are up to. I tell her we are watching the Oscars, and she asks what the difference is between the Oscars and the Academy Awards. She asks if they are for music or acting... Jenny asks me to ask her if she is living under a rock LOL. We chat for a bit, and she tells me to enjoy the rest of the Grammys/Oscars.

This wasn't a big year for musicals but for one skit, they Autotuned some of the movies which was a good way to start. It started out well - the opening skit was funny and we thought we were in for a treat. Then it got S.L.O.W. The ending, which showed a class of kids singing, was for some, I'm sure, a great big hootin' & hollerin' jim-jamboree. I read online that tickets for the AAs are sometimes scalped for $30-40K, because only celebrities and their families get to go. So if someday, I am (a) a celebrity, (b) a family member of a celebrity or (c) someone who has spent in excess of $40K for a ticket to the AAs, I hope to see something more than a bunch of kids sitting onstage singing. Or I will be one of the first people walking up the aisle and out the door, much like one does when you attend a terrible movie and you can't wait to get to the bathroom at the end so you leave as soon as the credits roll. That would be me, at the Oscars, disgusted & leaving early to get some grub. If it were a Michael Jackson 'We Are The World' kind of sing-a-long, then sure, I would stick around, but a kids' campfire, 'Kumbaya' sing-a-long? No, thanks. Pass the chicken fingers.

Anyway, we ate our snickity-snacklets and fed Harley. Harley plays really rough and bit Jenny a few times. Harley's treats consist of things like rawhide and chicken strips and beef tendons. Jenny was a bit disgusted at this because she thought I initially said dog tendons, so she said he is like Hannibal Lecter, a cannibal of his own kind, and I should get him one of the Hannibal masks. Now he is Harlequin Lecter.

Some of the awards were a bit of a disappointment. The King's Speech swept up Best Director, Best Actor, Best Picture and Best Original Screenplay. Seriously. I only watched part of it.

Inception: Cinematography, Visual Effects, Sound Editing, Sound Mixing... All very obvious :) Should have also won Director & Picture.

The Social Network: Film Editing, Music (Original Score), Writing (Adapted Screenplay)

Best line ever: "I think if your clients want to sit on my shoulders and call themselves tall, they have the right to give it a try - but there's no requirement that I enjoy sitting here listening to people lie. You have part of my attention - you have the minimum amount. The rest of my attention is back at the offices of Facebook, where my colleagues and I are doing things that no one in this room, including and especially your clients, are intellectually or creatively capable of doing." Yep. Would seriously love this guy to tell me off.

The Fighter: Supporting Actor - Christian Bale, Supporting Actress - Melissa Leo

I didn't watch the whole thing but I love Bale.

Alice in Wonderland: Art Direction, Costume Design.... obviously :)

There were some other awards. These were the ones I cared about. Portman won Best Actress. The movie was alright but I didn't love it.

While I am discussing the Best Actor/Actress award, I may as well address the fact that it is really tough to get these awards, and obviously even to get the roles in order to be nominated for these awards.

However, if you take notice to the films being nominated over the past few years, there are more and more CGI films being nominated in the real-people categories. How long is it going to take before cartoon characters start getting nominated for Best Actor & Actress? Not only are you trying to beat out all the other actors and actresses for the jobs and the other awards, but now you are going to have to compete with CGI characters! For example, in Avatar, Zoe Saldana played Neytiri and if she is nominated for an Actress award in a human category, then obviously she could win it because she is human. But what if the category is filled with humans and some CGI characters, huh, and the CGI thing wins it? Who accepts the Oscar on its behalf? And would you keep smiling in the audience when the camera pans to you for your reaction? Or do you pick up your purse and storm the hell out of there?

Yeah, it could happen. The line between reality and fantasy gets blurred more and more everyday. Welcome to Hollywood, welcome to the movies, ladies & gentlemen, we make your fantasies come true :)

There were no really funny things or cool artistic things in this awards show, which was a letdown. From the 79th Annual Oscars: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=is66tPvhuEQ

Some of the dresses / costumes were interesting. There were some vintage dresses, a few very beautiful ones and some interesting ones. Jenny said the Best Director of last year's film, Bigelow, looked like she was wearing a Star Wars-esque Snuggie. I bet she was sweaty. The host, Hathaway, had on a blue rubbery-looking dress for a little while.

We wondered why some people don't comb or wash their hair for the Oscars. You would think that this ceremony is a big deal, so why don't some people spend a bit of time getting ready? And then other people look like their parts are shellacked and sprayed into place. You know, if you buy a nice dress, at least have a shower and comb your hair. Just sayin'.

Or, send your tickets or way and we'll take care of business. As long as I don't have to watch the sing-a-long at the end.

And while we're at it, can someone please tell the Director of the awards to put some creative stuff in there? There should be no deficit on creativity. Dear God, people, you are representing Hollywood and the BEST of all the creative arts - there are awards being given out for music, directing, acting, editing, sound, costume, makeup, etc. - CAN SOMEONE TAKE A LITTLE HINT & INJECT SOME LIFE INTO THE AWARDS CEREMONY & SPICE IT UP A BIT? They have the most creative people in the world in that room. Where is the inspiration, people??

You would think that your artistic awards ceremony for the arts of all endeavours would be a little more artsy. Where is the fun? Where is the life?

And Kirk Douglas, Spartacus...

'May God grant you always...

A sunbeam to warm you,

A moonbeam to charm you,

A sheltering angel, so nothing can harm you.'

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/83rd_Academy_Awards

"Try-Athletes": Swim, Fishies!

"Lovin' every minute of it, whoa-oh-whoa-oa-whoa!" (Loverboy)

The water was cool, but we loved it. When we got there, some dudes were already swimming in our lanes. Now, we have some lanes designated as the 'Special Lanes' and those lanes are reserved for those of us who need the most TLC during Swim time. This dude might have thought he was someone special, but he wasn't Special like us. We need extra help in the swim department, and he seemed to be swimming just fine. I mean, seriously, if you can swim at 100km/h and do backflips against the wall and continue swimming at the same speed in the opposite direction without stopping, you are probably someone special, but you are not someone Special, like us.

Anyway, Alanna basically forced us into the lane, even though he was there first and we didn't want to be rude by just hopping in. We also didn't want to get run over by this Speedy Gonzales swimmer. We had to time our hopping in just right. I jumped in when he was about halfway down the lane, swimming away from me, and by the time I came up for air, he was already on his way back. And seriously, I only hopped into the pool - I didn't go for a stroll on the bottom or anything.

Then Lisa did the same and we both went on our flutterboards aka Freedomboards in order to get our legs warmed up. Before this happened though, Alanna thought it very appropriate to throw said Freedomboard at my face at full speed while I wasn't paying attention, so there is a very good chance that I will have a rectangle-shaped bruise across my face tomorrow, which will look like I was ninja-chopped right under the eye. Thanks, buddy.

Good times.

But then she whacked her knee on the diving platform and then for some reason, dragged her finger across the gritty part, too. So while she abused me, she also abused herself. We have gone from minor violations to full-out assault.

But we are survivors.

Alanna introduced us to these little flotation devices that you put between your knees that you are supposed to use to strengthen your arms. You hold them between your knees but don't kick, just use your arms to swim. Well, if you are naturally buoyant, you go flying around in the air at the top of the water because it is difficult to control yourself when your arse is higher up than it was before. If you keep your face down in the water, you can even yourself out, but we all know what happens when you put your face in the water for too long. Capital D - Drown.

I also showed the girls what I researched on youtube - what actually happens when you drown or become a distressed swimmer - two different things, one that can lead into the other. I came across a news story about this and they have these videos where it shows how quickly it can happen, and what to watch out for. This is important to know. If you have kids, put them into swimming lessons, for God's sake. Don't be arsing around. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ndbGvjqEweA It's good to learn a few things and be proactive.

Eventually, we got our bodies under control and began to swim. Again. It seems like every time I do something different, I swim faster, but as soon as I stop doing the different thing, I slow down again. But I'm doing alright. My bilateral breathing is improving. I can't do both at the same time yet, but I'm working on it.

Alanna keeps showing me the right arm movements and I keep trying to copy her when I am in the water. The little Between-The-Knee-Flotation-Device-Business helps you roll your body so that you don't twist your neck so much, but you really have to be careful that you don't roll so much that you go all the way over like when you flip over an egg - that happened to me a couple of times. Not necessarily on purpose, but it's just the way things happened to go.

We also got fins tonight. We didn't grow fins, and they weren't awards. We got them to start practicing with to strengthen our legs, or something like that. All I know is - this is the same stuff the real Triathletes were doing on the first night we went there.

Lisa got her fins first. She also lost one first. Those things sink and neither of us can dive, and Alanna wasn't swimming - she was instructing from the side because apparently I made her sick (as in physically ill not disgusted), and she blamed me for making three other people sick, too - so we had to do some fancy footwork underwater to get that fin and keep it from sinking. But we caught it and raised it up. However, later on, we did not manage to save the fin that Lisa ripped off her foot and threw down because she had a foot cramp. And when I say throw down, I mean she threw it down underwater. HA!

As much as I would like to dive down to the bottom and walk around, or rescue items like lost fins, the best I could do is stick my face in the water and flop around like a dead fish. I don't go anywhere when I try to dive. I imagine myself like a beautiful sleek dolphin but in reality, half my body is still above water because I'm too buoyant to go under and I don't know how to let enough air out of my body to sink. That takes practice. And no, watching it on youtube won't help. I already tried.

It's funny, though, because when I try to swim, half my body is underwater. Maybe if I try to "swim" but really be diving, I'll be able to get down to the bottom. "Hey guys, I'm gonna swim!" Dive dive dive... grab up the fin...

Oh Lord, those things are flippers, not fins. Fins would go on your sides. No, wait, that's gills. These went on our feet. Haha. *sigh* I am tired tonight.

Ok, I actually just looked it up. Some people call them fins, some call them flippers and apparently it has to do with size (that's what she said - sorry, couldn't resist that one). Whatever, they go on your feet, and you know what I am talking about. Mine were yellow and grey and possibly a little bit too big.

I had to take off my swim cap tonight because I apparently use too much conditioner and the stupid thing kept coming off my head. The inside of the cap was 'slimey', as Alanna put it. Great - it would not stay on. So I am in the pool, with really chlorinated water. I have really dark purple and really bright pink hair, by choice. I wasn't born that way. And in order to get that way, I had to bleach some of my hair and then dye it pink. Well, when I got home, I inspected my hair. Some of the ends are already a bit white. Nice. Nice.

Yeah, nice. I always wanted white hair. PS. I have a Ph.D. in Sarcasm. I earned it from the University of Arseholes in Everyplaceieverlived.

At one point, Lisa and I were swimming in opposite directions and we crashed midstream and got tangled up. It was a bit of a moment, trying to figure who owned which arms and legs, but we got everything straightened away and after the initial bit of drowning and giggling, we were ok.

"JENNY!"

We missed you.

Our trio is broken, like a tricycle with a missing wheel.

It's hard to pedal with one wheel gone.

Get better ASAP so you can come back.

We are like a trinity, but not.

We are more of a trini-.

"JENNY!"

"And tell me now

How do [we] live without you

[We] want to know

How do I breathe without you

If you ever go

How do [we] ever ever survive?

How do [we]

How do [we]

O how do [we] live?..."

(Trisha Yearwood)

"Try-Athletes": Back in the Game

tryathletes2011.blogspot.com

"You only work as hard as you make yourself work!" - Holly

We are glad to be back. No one can do this for us - we have to do it ourselves.

"Pick up the pace, that's what we do!" - Holly

Although our lungs are aching, we pick up the pace and we stand on our bikes and we pedal like we mean it. We are back in the game.

Brent smiled and waved when he saw us - I think he just about gave up on us. 'No way!' we thought, 'we are here to stay! Hi everybody!'

We are glad to see everyone's faces and we are glad to hear Holly's voice and we are glad to be walking around that track.

40 minutes on the bike, a couple of acid trips, burning thighs and blisters on the vag-callouses mean Good Times on the Good Bikes. This is the price you pay for taking a few days off.

We have found that leaning over on your bike handles a little bit means that your legs are assaulting your flab while you pedal. This is not so much a party. Kicking your own flab with your thighs does not make Spin class easier or more enjoyable. In fact, it makes class a little dangerous because there is always the chance that you may kick a little too vigorously at some point and therefore knock yourself off your bike. Not to mention the potential bruising that you may get from your own knees, and if you happen to look down toward your knees, you could get one of your knees in the teeth. All in all, this is shaping up to be pure savageness.

You are better off staying in an upward type of position and pedaling your arse off as much as you can. I had to gear down as low as 8 tonite because there were times when I just couldn't pedal and breathe at the same time. I may bring one of those portable oxygen tanks with me next time, so I don't have to do everything on my own. However, when it was time to stand and bike, I was able to do this once in awhile, as long as I put my bike on gear 15 or 16. Any lower than that and my legs get tired too quickly. This could be cheating, but I don't care. I'm standing up on my bike and I'm pedaling. So there.

After 40 minutes or so of pedaling hard and still staying in the same spot, we hopped off the bikes and managed to stay in upright positions. We went for a walk, while other people speedily ran past us, and did laps around the track. I sounded like my grandfather, cough cough wheeze wheeze, God rest his soul. Whatever, I was on the track and I was still walking, no ambulance was called, and no defibrillators were being geared up.

Then came the dreaded stairs. Holly caught us as we were going around the track and she told us to get in there and go down at least once but we respectfully declined her offer/orders. Everyone else was gladly hopping on down those stairs but we weren't ready. Lisa laughed and said she has war wounds, and I have my grandmother's knees. I'm not ready for stairs yet. As soon as my knees stop popping, I'll run up and down the stairs and maybe do some cartwheels, too. Until then - flat surfaces for me.

"Alright," she said, "my middle name is 'Safety'. You do what is best for you."

I like that she encourages us but gives us the option to back out of the things we know we are not ready to do. As we went for another walk around the track, Lisa and I pondered the idea that Holly probably thought we were young whippersnappers. We decided to tell her the truth... we are old war vets.

When we got to the Core/Yoga corner, we stopped in to have a chat with her as we waited for the others to finish with their Mach 4 running lap, and we casually mentioned that we were old. "I've been alive for 33 years," I said. She laughed at us and said we weren't old. So, no sympathy there.

I don't really think we are old all over - we are young. But our knees are old. And my lungs are getting a bit outdated and probably rancid, too.

That's what all this workout business is to try to fix... turn back the clock, or at least halt the progress of illness and disease. I just didn't know that I was falling apart until I started this regime. First, I was told I was fat and I was going to die so I better start working out. So I start working out and that became a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Yes, it did - look what happened: I got sick. The lungs started to deteriorate. Don't even say it's not true. Go to swimming - drown. Go to spin - die of exhaustion. Take time to recuperate - harder to go back, get blisters on the original callouses that were built up.

Gawd.

Eventually, everyone showed up and then we started an exercise that Lisa and I don't even have a name for. It's the 'Stare At Each Other With The WTF? Look' exercise.

Basically, you start doing The Plank. Now, this exercise is the arseholiest move on the planet. You have to basically do a push up on your elbows but hold it mid-air. This works your ab muscles and your facial muscles because you want to curse your head off but that wouldn't be polite so you have to hold it all in - all the curses and all your guts. And your arse, too.

That's not the only thing. The second part of this fantastic exercise was to then get up on your hands from The Plank position and then lower yourself back to The Plank position repeatedly, as often as you could, for a set time period. So, lay on your elbows in a push up position, then from your elbows get up to your hands, then back down to your elbows, repeat... without putting your legs down to the floor. Try it.

Well.

'Your arms start shakin' and your knees get weak' (Elvis Presley)

I tried it a few times and it is difficult. I looked over at Lisa and at one point, she had let go of everything and rolled over, giggling. That sent me into a fit of giggles, too. That move even made my fingers tired. I think I will call that move The P Squared Exercise - Psycho Plank.

We did a little more stretchy stuff after that, and called it a night.

When we left MacIsland, we couldn't find the SUV. Our Leader wasn't with us, so we didn't know where we parked. I had to use my panic alarm to find the vehicle. Eventually we made it, and after I returned my overdue library books, we were on our way home.

We got to the A&W turn when Lisa stated that it would be a good time to have burgers. I was game but then she changed her mind. Who am I to force someone to eat a Teen Burger? So we went home instead. I got home about 20 minutes earlier than usual, and ate a ton of food to make up for the Stare At Each Other With The WTF? Look' /P Squared exercise trauma.

Some of the girls asked about Jenny & passed on their well-wishes :) Holly said she hopes you get better soon!

Swimming tomorrow!

We are ready to jump in feet first, and get in over our heads, again!

* Nancy has had some great accomplishments so far, and looks fantastic for all her efforts. Nancy - we are so proud of you. You inspire us!

Sa-Thletes Update:

- Old man winter = 0, Death stairs = 0, Eva and baby = 3.

Congratulations, Eva!

"Try-Athletes?": I Dunno 'Bout It.

Take it easy for tonight and get better crazy lady... you're disgustingly sick and you've been like this for awhile! Haha

That's the message I received this evening from my Swim Instructor.

Both Jenny and Lisa have physical symptoms that look much worse than mine. I have a huge fist-like feeling in my chest, but they are both noticeably ill.

I can't express enough how much I hate being sick, and how frustrated I am with this illness and this weather. I hate winter. There has not been a time in my life where I have said, "Gee, I miss winter." Even for those of you who love ice and snow (all you skaters & snowboarders out there), I bet there has been a time in your life where you have missed summertime. Be honest now, you know it's true.

Planning your social life around the weather is exhausting, and that's before you even get to do your activities. I don't even want to bring the garbage out because it is too cold. I would rather sit in my house and do one full trip with everything in my arms all at once rather than bring things out of my house one at a time, or worse yet, just make a trip for one thing. Screw that. Why freeze unnecessarily, when I can just drag myself and all my things out at one time?

My poor dog rarely sees true daylight anymore. When he gets to go outside, he gets to stand on the ground for less than 30 seconds before he starts to freeze. When we walk outside, he coughs from the air hitting his tiny lungs. I have to dress him like a tiny baby. He owns more than one jacket, for God's sake - he owns a lightweight jacket and a heavy jacket, plus numerous sweaters. Seriously. And he has fur. Welcome to the Arctic Frostbite Situation of the World, Pupper Dog. I bet he thinks to himself, 'Why did you have to be the one to adopt me? I was living 5 hours south of here and my real mama never made me freeze like this!'

When my clock rings in the morning, I don't wake up and think, 'Yay! It's a beautiful sunshiney kind of morning!!', rather I think, 'Sweet Lord in Heaven, I have to get up and go outside.' And that, my friends, is because it is so cold. I live 3 minutes away from work. Often, it takes me 20 minutes or more to get there because people forget how to drive when it snows. They think that speeding (as in 40km/h +) is the best way to drive. In these frostbitten parts of the world, 40km/h in a vehicle is often speeding on these icy roads, when the roads turn to sheets of ice because it is so, so cold. During warmer months, not so many accidents happen because people can handle their vehicles better. People cause chaos all the time. I remember Autobody friends of mine used to love seeing the snow because that's when the work started up for them. Caution: accidents abound in the winter because people are stupid.

Do you know that people even go camping in the winter? I guess, if I wanted to freeze to the ground and wake up with a 105 degree temperature, and therefore brain damage, I could do such a thing. But no, I would prefer the fiery pits of Hell to winter camping. And if someone made me do it, well there would be no worries about the ground around me being frozen because my temper would melt all the snow and ice around my tent, anyway. It would be more like a river. I would have to bring a raft. A few years ago, I worked at the Lake and on the May long weekend, it snowed. People woke up to find themselves frozen inside their tents and some had to cut themselves out through the sides of their tents because the zippers wouldn't work. Now, that's what I like to call a good time.

Here I am, again, sitting in front of a heater, with my dog running around the house, and I am eating homemade chicken soup, drinking hot chocolate and watching a movie while I write. I'm not allowed to swim because people are afraid I might die. Will we ever get back on track? As Jenny would say, "I dunno 'bout it." I was more in danger of drowning two weeks ago than I am now. I even watched videos of people drowning just in case I got into that situation - I wanted to know what to watch for! But I can't practice not drowning if I'm not swimming. And I'm not swimming because I'm sick. And I'm sick because of the stupid weather. Thanks a lot, stupid white fluffy icy cold winter. I hate you.

And so here is an open letter to Old Man Winter...

Dear Winter,

Bugger off. And in case you don't know where I live, just bugger off from everywhere - do a full sweep of buggering off. Make no exceptions.

Thanks a lot Arsehole Jaws,

Teresina

May as well watch Ghost, or Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil, or something. I think someone should make a movie of Anne Rice's The Witching Hour. Buy the script, and do it. Go ahead, get on it.

"Try-Athletes": Commitment, The Lack Thereof

It's been nearly a week since we were on the Try circuit. We are slackers. We are missing another Spin workout tonite, in an effort to maximize our healing time. We are back on the clippety-clop horse tomorrow just in time to immerse ourselves in liquid for Swim night.

Weddings & Commitment

However, we have taken part in other adventures. In one of Jenny's classes, she teaches the seriousness and importance of commitment and marriage. Students choose to make commitments like marriage to each other, and so we did that in her class. We researched and staged weddings so students could participate to show their understanding of the concept. They seemed to have a lot of fun and they took it very seriously. They planned the day, bought decorations, came in after school to decorate, bought food for the wedding feast, wrote vows, brought music, dressed up, and invited guests. Jenny dressed as Estelle, the organ player and Reader for the Ceremony. I was the Priestess, Mother Teresina.

The organ player, Estelle wore a sparkly sequined silver top with a pink, sequined & fringed cowboy skirt with argyle socks, topped by a lavender sweater held together at the neck with a string of pearls. Her trademark hat, a gold and pinkish-lavender affair, perched jauntily atop her head. She organized the multiple ceremonies efficiently and with ease. The various grooms and wives were dressed in everything from formal attire to casual clothes to skiwear, which highlighted their personalities. Their vows further showed their personalities as some were written in verse, some with lines garnered from popular songs and some with sentiments from their hearts. The Priestess wore a costume of white and maroon, lined with gold. She entered the Chapel of Love, Our Lady of the Woods, also wearing a Queenly robe of purple adorned with white fur and gold brooches, as she said she was from the Kingdom of Heaven.

The wedding feast was a modern potluck, with cakes and pizza and treats of all types being brought by the wedding participants. After the ceremonies were completed (with only one objection being made from a guest whose opinion regarding the fickleness of teen commitment - 'modern day Romeos' - was heard but this guest was also then quickly ushered out), guests were encouraged to 'dig in' and gorge themselves upon the food to celebrate the commitments that had been made. The day was a beautiful success. All in all, if you need a Wedding Planner, call Estelle.

... Back at the Ranch

Saturday was a Catch-up With Old Friends Day. It was also a Stay Home and Research Everything Under The Sun kind of Day. Jenny and I have discovered that we are, and always have been, Nerds. Capital-N Nerds. So much so that when we can't sleep, we read and/or 'research' something and by research, we mean get on the internet and read everything we can about something. For example, if Jenny was watching a movie, she would get on the internet and read everything she could about an actor or the director or whatever. Some people might call this Minor Stalking, but we call this research. When we were younger, we would read encyclopedias or other such books because we lived in the woods with no internet. You can imagine what a blessing the internet is to stalkers, oops, I mean researchers, like us.

So, for me at least, I should have been napping on Saturday afternoon, but between working on the show, catching up with facebook and facebook games like Cityville, writing blogs and then all the researching, I didn't have time for a nap. And time goes by pretty quickly when you have all that work to do. If only I could focus on real stuff like that, I would get so much done. Meanwhile, by the time 9PM rolls around, my eyeballs are rolling around in my head from sheer exhaustion. I have two bookshelves of books that I don't have time to read because I am too busy researching and playing games on the internet to get any reading done. And Jenny did the same when she was sick on Saturday - watched movies and read stuff. Beyonce may be Bootylicious but we are cornering the market on Nerd-ilicious.

Sunday was Stir Crazy Day. It was nice to be off but when you don't get to do anything, it gets old fast. So during the night, we went out for chicken wings and traded stories about growing up in the woods. Those were good times for sure. It's really no wonder we like to dress up and play games and pretend (ie Theatre) - what else was there to do back in the woods? There were no cineplexes or arcades or skateparks, and there were certainly no themeparks.

There were trees and oceans and family and 'up the road' and 'down the road' and 'in town' maybe a movie and once in a while, traveling circuses. I guess we could have joined the circus. Nah, instead, we got ourselves some educations and make circuses wherever we go.

& The Lack Thereof

Today, Monday, was a lazy day again. We have taken almost a week off. We took almost a week off of our 4 Week Food Challenge, too, in terms of '6 Clean & 1 Cheat'. It's more like we have been clean sometimes every day. Whatever, we'll get back on the wagon tomorrow for exercise, and tonight for the clean eating business.

Our Sa-Thletes (Satellite "Try-Athletes") haven't been in touch for awhile so we hope they are doing better than we are.

Fall #1 - check

It's what we do. This would be no fun if we were successful all the time, right?

Tomorrow, we are back to racing around breathlessly, insulting each other, stripping, violating others, stalking, drowning, AWOL drawers, foggles that give us black eyes, trying to swim 25m repeatedly and other general chaos. We are looking forward to every second of it.