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Saturday, November 19, 2011

Sure as There's Sh!t in a Cat...

... people will find something to complain about.

The one I hear most often: "You treat that dog like it's your kid!"

"It's" a male and his name is Harlequin. He isn't a child but he is 'my little guy.'

I don't treat him like a child:
- I don't send him to school.
- I leave him home alone, penned into the bedroom and bathroom with only a couple of toys to play with for hours at a time... do this with a kid, and you should get jail time.
- I neutered him (not really something you should do to a child, just sayin')

I do treat him better than some people treat their children. Is that the problem?
- I feed him decent food & treats.
- I put clothes on his skinny pink dog body when it's chilly.
- I take him to the vet when he needs to go.
- I take him to different places with me and don't expect a sitter to keep him unless absolutely necessary.

I assumed, when I bought him (another thing I wouldn't do to a child), that owning an animal meant I would be responsible for his care. I don't expect others to do my work.

And why does the way I treat my dog bother anyone? If I had kids, would you complain about the way I was raising them? Yes, you would. 'Cause as sure as there's sh!t in a cat, you are chatting about how I don't have kids. Gotcha there, don't I?

I might have a kid or two stashed away somewhere. And maybe I don't. What's it worth to you? {dance, gossipers, dance!!}

(and upon rereading that paragraph, I meant 'stashed away' as in I was hiding the fact that I had my own children already, and by 'worth to you' I meant 'what's it to you'... not that I was holding random kids for ransom.... sheesh!)

I figured if I could keep a plant alive, I could move on to an animal. I always had pets growing up, so I skipped the plant part. Plants are boring, anyway.

So far, I have kept Harley alive, despite some scares. On our first cross-Canada journey, he ended up with a bad belly and I had to give him Pepto-Bismol:

notice the pink-stained beard

He wasn't a happy camper (literally) but he survived. 

In NL, I then subjected him to lobsters from the Atlantic Ocean. He was wary of them:




Driving to the opposite end of the country, he ended up getting a sunburned belly because I didn't know that a Maltese dog needed sunscreen - who would have thought that? 

Just relaxin'

Maltese have very pink skin with white fur. He was in the back seat with shaded windows, and I thought that was ok. He earned freckles all over, for that one.

When we got to the Pacific Ocean, we dunked him in for a dip. He was not impressed:

Pacific Ocean 2010

But he survived. He's traveled the entire country 3 or 4 times now. For a furball, he has it pretty good. 

In fact, traveling isn't easy with Mr. Spoiled Rotten. Harley has caused a few ruckuses in his time. Just look back through the blogs - you'll see. Read about PooPaws.

Yeah, I treat my dog well. If I have kids, I'll treat them well, too. Until then, leave Harley-Barley-Big-Boy-Bowser alone. He is all of 7lbs and has to wear shirts to stay warm, so pick on someone your own size.

No, he doesn't run around in the woods and wrestle squirrels and coyotes or chew on tree bark. He doesn't growl at the mailman or fight other dogs. He doesn't help save lives or haul sleds.

He doesn't wear leather collars with spikes (although it would be cute, he can't lift them). He can't hang out at the dog park because the other dogs think he is the toy they get to chase.  He doesn't get mad when you come to my door, instead he runs around until he almost passes out from excitement. Then he stands on his back legs and tries to jump to get you to notice him - being ankle height does nothing to help your self confidence.

He waits with insane excitement at the promise of 'cheese' or 'chicken supper.' He will even bark when you tell him to 'say please.'

So until kids happen, I will buy doggie shirts and doggie snacks and go on trips where Harley will sometimes join me and other times stay at home.

Life doesn't stop just because you have pets or don't have kids.

I treat him like I love him, 'cuz I do.

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