"Try-Athletes": Let Me Hear You Scream

"Hey, Point au Mal, you are a good runner!" said the coach as he sprinted away. He said this after he caught up to me, between a couple of laps of alternately sprinting and regular running.

This was obviously not today, or yesterday for that matter.

This was about 16-17 years ago, when I was testing out a Tae Kwon Do class and we had to run laps for warm up. It seemed normal to run like that back then - as kids, we were poor and we ran around a lot, doing obstacle courses, etc. for fun. So we were in shape and had endurance.

Since then, I have matured into my Slothhood. It is now difficult to run, and sprinting would probably kill me.

Today, I huff and puff like the Wolf in The Three Little Pigs when I run. After a little while, I get dizzy, I feel like my nose is going to bleed, and the room starts to spin just like when we first started on the Spin Bikes. So while the Spin Bikes were Vag Busters, this running is a Brain Buster for me.

The girls seem to be doing great with this.

I am out of shape in the greatest proportions possible. This is ridiculous. It feels like my body is being resistant to being fit, when in reality I know it is just hard work.

I actually start to see different colours when I push myself to run. This can't be good. But whatever, I run as much as I can, until I feel like another few steps will either buckle my knees or cause me to pass out, whichever comes first.

But the good news is that Bikes got easier after a couple of months, so if I stick with it, the running should get easier, too. There is no way this would be easy just starting off. I knew that.

I went downtown early today to buy new sneakers, and I will try them out for a bit to see if they help. They were alright today but didn't seem to make too big of a difference. Working out in the morning makes a bigger difference for me.

However, because I was late in getting to Try-Running, I didn't get the same instructions as everyone else... i.e., he has to give you a certain time to run, not the 'run a lap, walk a lap' business. Well, I ran a lap, walked a lap, then I was getting ready to run a lap again and Jenny asked me what I was doing, so I turned to tell her I was getting ready to run, and she told me not to, so I was confused. She said he had to tell us when to run, and she told me to get off the track, so I was completely confused.

I was also completely in the way of the real runners.

I tried to get out of the way, but the real runner in the blue shirt ran in the same direction I was walking, and so I moved to the other side, but so did he, and so it felt like we were playing supersonic defensive sports because he was FAST and by fast, I mean he was running toward me full speed and it didn't look like he was going to slow down anytime soon. I can't imagine him wanting to slow down, either, since they were being timed, and so while we were trying to avoid each other, I couldn't get out of his way, and I thought for sure I was going to trip him up and there would be Hell to pay.

Before I knew it, I got such a fright, that I screamed.

Ladies & gents, I'm not a screamer. Usually.

But so it goes. I froze in place, as did nearly everyone else on the track, and maybe even he did for a split second, mid-air, and then time moved on and he ran around me. Jenny looked shocked, and nearly died laughing. She then grabbed my hand and dragged me over to the railing and hissed at me to get off the track. "What are you doing?!?!" she said, in a fit of laughing. "I was trying to run," I feebly tried to explain myself but she cut me off by saying, "That guy probably wants to kill you because you cost him a half a second of time." I thought this might be true but now I think it's better to have cost him that and cost myself my dignity than both of us a trip to the hospital because of any other shenanigans I might have accidently caused.

I brought Harlequin for a walk when I got home. He likes that a lot and now that it's warmer, we can start going again. I wish I could commit myself to going early every morning with him, but it's true that the road to Hell is paved with good intentions. When the alarm rings at 5am, I really hate to get out of bed, especially if I couldn't sleep all night.

But a routine isn't made like that, and his extracurricular activities with Cookie Monster would probably end if he was getting walked more.

That might be a couple of good challenges for me:

- (short term) walking Harley every morning before work

- (long term) getting the running under control before September.

I'm thinking about it.