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Monday, April 11, 2011

"Try-Athletes": Guess Who's Back?

... back again... Holly's back... back for Spin!

I thought I was heading down to MacIsland for a grueling night of negotiations again, and figured this time, my luck would probably run out, but the girl is back in town, the girl is back in town!

And she made us work, too.

Jenny said this was the hardest she ever worked, until I reminded her how hard the first week was. Then she re-evaluated her situation and amended her statement. This was the second hardest time she ever worked at Spin, she decided.

I got out of rehearsal late and had to "dirty boot'er" home, as Jenny likes to say. I think this means "go quickly" in Nova Scotia language. I am from Newfoundland and we use "boot'er" to mean "go somewhere" and this also can mean you are going somewhere relatively quickly, so I guess adding "dirty" at the beginning means you are going at supersonic speed, or something.

I drove home as quickly as I could, given the speed limit and road conditions, since it is winter again in Fort McMurray. Yes, it is April 11, and just 26 hours before, I was out in shirtsleeves, taking my dog for a walk, so it was quite warm the day before. But when I drove home, there was snow on the ground and people were whipping around like maniacs. And I may or may not have been one of them.

I got into the house at 6:10. I threw a frozen M&M chicken breast into the microwave and set it to defrost for 5 minutes. I ran into my bedroom, changed clothes, and came out to put the chicken to cook for 2 minutes. I ran back to the bedroom, put in contacts, ran back to flip the chicken for another 2 minutes and get Harley his chicken dinner. I grabbed everything else I needed and was off to the kitchen again.

I ate like a seagull, as my grandfather would have said. There was no real chewing involved, more like huge gulps of hot chicken, and I'm not 100% sure that it was fully cooked but I'm not dead yet so it might have been ok. I did have some pain in my abdomen on the bike, but more about that later.

I grabbed water and was out the door in a shot, leaving the house at 6:26... not bad - I saw Harley for less than 16 minutes in the last 13 hours. I'm such a good Mama. No wonder he humps everything.

I drove downtown and soon got stuck behind someone who was trying to turn left by the bank next to Earl's on the way down to Franklin. Seriously, people... when traffic is heavy, turn left at the lights on Franklin and then backtrack around. Otherwise, you hold up traffic right to the highway because the Franklin traffic doesn't care that your one lonely vehicle is trying to cross two bustling lanes of traffic. Use common sense, and stop holding up traffic. So I went around all this traffic because my patience was wearing thin.

I got to MacIsland and chatted wth Kirsten, Brent and Nancy. Then Jenny arrived and we all had a yarn. That means "chat" in Newfie-speak. I figured I threw in some Nova Scotian lingo so I may as well even out the East Coast terminology somewhat. I don't really know anything particular to use from PEI or NB, though, unless you want me to talk about potatoes, Anne of Green Gables, the Acadians or the Miramichi.

Lisa showed up and got out her hardcore Athlete Gear. She has all this because she actually used to be an Athlete. So she just busted out all of her old stuff, whereas we wear stuff from WalMart and just sweat out all the MacDonalds and pizza and chicken wings and donuts. Whatever, our arses are there.

Jenny said she started acid-trippin' right away. She said after awhile her vag was busted so badly that it felt like it was turned inside out. She is worse than Harley and his turned-inside-in penis.

Kirsten seemed pretty happy to be there. She had a smile on the whole time. I think she enjoys it, and her facebook status said afterward, "I am a tri-club rock star. Our crew is awesome. Just sayin'." So I think it is going well from her perspective. That is good - not everyone likes it enough to stick with it.

I didn't find it that difficult on the bikes, although we were givin'er (now THAT's the Newfie term) for over an hour. It was hard... make no mistake about that. The song Sandstorm will forever remind me of two things: (1) the 2010 grad: the kids had a lack of voter turn-out and it nearly ended up as their grad song, and (2) biking on the Spin Bike when Kirsten got the giggles and Holly made everyone go up a gear because, as Holly said, "If you can laugh, you're not working hard enough!"
Sandstorm stresses me out because it means business: I think cadavers would get amped on Sandstorm.

Check it out:

Jenny went to get water and came back, and effectively started her bike over, just as she always does, because her bike is possessed. It constantly flicks through the gears (although it stays in the right gear, the number just doesn't register on the little screen properly), nor does it give the kms correctly. It always flicks back and forth on her numbers. So we could be biking an hour, and Jenny might have 'biked' 4km. Meanwhile, she has voyaged halfway around the world and back, and her intestines are hanging out on the floor.

Kirsten said she is going to do the 'Try the Tri.' This actually looks perfect for us when you see it in print. We won't be ready for this year's TtT, but Kirsten has / had it in her head that she will be, so she is game. Jenny and Lisa asked her if she had her bike ready, and she smugly replied, "You don't need a bike. It's at MacIsland. Where are you going to ride it - around the library?" She obviously thought they were going to use the Spin Bikes. Oh no, they made it clear: there is going to be a track outside for the TtT. That's a different story, then.

Jenny of course, had to make fun of her, and of course, I had to join in, and Lisa had to laugh. Jenny said she could just see Kirsten now, with her little tricycle (TRIcycle), streamers blowing from the handlebars, little bell ringing, beads on the spokes and all. That would be perfect.

After nearly 65 minutes on the bike, I had completed 20km (I know that's not much after 65 minutes, but give me a break here) and I felt like I had legs of lead. I actually started to hallucinate through some of it, and when I was looking around I was wondering why I was seeing so many bright colours. I snapped out of it a bit and realized it was because so many people wear bright shirts. It's like a kaleidoscope of flowery brightness in there sometimes.

I started to get a pain in my side and I was wondering if the chicken might have been uncooked, but then I realized that food poisoning might take a little longer to set in. But then I wondered if vigorous activity would make it happen faster, and I wasn't sure. Then my knees started to give out. Then Jenny said she thought she had lung cancer because she found it so hard to breathe, and that maybe I had knee cancer, and she got mad at me because she said I put too much pressure on my knees with the bike.

Holly basically told me to shut up.

Sweet Lord Almighty.

At about 8pm, people were starting to leave in droves. I told Jenny I thought the gym was closed and she started laughing so hard, I thought Holly was going to come over and knock us out. So I turned away from her and pretended I didn't notice her laughing her arse off. If she gets caught, fine, but I'm having no part of it. I'll choke myself before I make everybody work harder - I don't know if they would kill me or shake my hand. I can't really tell with that crowd. If they want to work harder, well then I will raise a little hell back there.

We were supposed to go for a run and Jenny and Kirsten took off but Nancy and I got to chatting and ended up walking. Then we did stretches and core stuff. It's all good.

I think it's nice to switch up Coaches once in awhile - the same way as it's good to switch up teachers - it doesn't hurt to get new perspectives and change is good. It keeps you on your toes.

So Holly, welcome back :)

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